t’s that time of year where everything we see on social media is “Best Valentine Date Ideas" and “12 Valentine’s Gift Ideas for Your Partner.” However, when you are single these can feel like a judgement from everybody in the world reminding you that you are alone on this holiday and everyone else is not. And then there are people telling you to celebrate your singleness and sharing how blissfully happy a single life can be. It’s okay to not be over the moon in love or thriving in “hot girl summer” or “BDE” culture. It’s okay to be single and not happy about it.

The holidays are a time of tradition. Most of us have special traditions with our families or loved one during the holidays, such as cooking a special meal or going around the table to express our gratitude. This is why the first holiday season after a loved one has passed can be extremely difficult.

With all the memories created and traditions celebrated during this time of year thoughts of loved ones easily flood in. Once that special person is not there anymore, it’s difficult to not feel their presence on special days like the holidays.

Similarly, if you are someone who used to enjoy the holidays with that loved one that is gone, it makes it extra difficult to not have them by your side in times when you would like to share that happiness with them.

When we think of taking a break, we usually think of unhealthy couples going back and forth not being able to commit or stay broken up. However, that does not have to be the case! There are many benefits of taking a break, as long as you and your partner are aligned with the goals and expectations of the break.

Did you grow up in a family where there was constant fighting, the absence of any emotion, or a combination of both? Did you grow up with plenty of examples of how relationships shouldn’t be? This may leave you concerned about how the dysfunction in your family impacts your ability to have healthy relationships of your own. At Authentic Connections Therapy and Wellness our skilled team specializes in understanding these aspects of relationships and is here to help.

The term “narcissist” is thrown around often, especially for people who have high self-esteem, love to talk about themselves, and are proud of who they are. However, people with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are often those who have low self-esteem and need to be admired and complimented consistently, don’t have empathy for others, and have a hard time accepting criticism.

In the modern dating world, the term breadcrumbed means to be given just enough attention to keep you interested but never being fully invested. Typically, you go on a couple dates with a person and then they seem to be busy or cancel dates at the last minute. You question if they are interested and feel confused because on the dates they seem “so into you,” but once they are no longer around you, they are distant and difficult to get in contact with. Usually, right when you are about to write them off, they will text you something like “Hey! It’s been a while, lets meet up soon!” At this point you start to question yourself, “was I expecting too much,” “did I overreact,” “maybe they were truly busy?” You give it another shot and after trying to figure out what they mean by “soon” you go on another date with them and have a blast. The cycle then repeats.

Research studies show time and time again that healthy relationships are a key factor in overall life happiness. So, what makes for happy healthy relationships? There is a lot of bad information out there of what this type of relationship looks like. Social media and romcoms would have us believe that strong chemistry and a great couple selfie in Greece is the recipe for a lifetime of happiness. While these may be #coupelgoals they are not the most important aspects of a relationship.

Many of us are ready for the world to open back up, because we’re on the hunt for the golden egg - love. During the pandemic, we’ve done a lot of Netflix watching, snacking and board games, but we’ve also done some self-reflection, improvement and care. It’s important that, as we start to look seriously again for relationships, we recognize how the roles we’ve played in our pasts can show up in our romantic relationships.

For those of us already in committed relationships, these archetypes can also help provide insight to persistent conflicts that arise for you and your partner.

Unfortunately, dating can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and hopeless at times. People can be misleading in their dating profiles. Ghosting is rampant. And flakiness is so bad that often people are unsure if a date will follow through and happen until they’re sitting at the restaurant in front of their date. What keeps us trudging through this difficult activity? The possibility and promise of finding love.

Online dating can be a great option for finding a romantic partner. It gives you access to a large pool of singles in your area that are also looking for love! However, with all of its benefits it can feel overwhelming, discouraging, and frustrating at times. With a culture of ghosting, bread crumbing, and flakiness the thought of logging into your dating account can make you roll your eyes. If you feel like online dating feels like a job, you feel agitated even looking at the app on your phone, or if you are having trouble remember who is who, it may be time to re-energize your online dating.