Anxious attachment is one of four attachment styles that are thought to develop in our childhood and continued through our adulthood. These are based on patterns of behaviors that people have in relationships with others.

An anxious attachment style is characterized by a person who has a negative view of themselves and a positive view of others. Typically, this style develops when people have had their needs met inconsistently. Due to the inconsistency, they may worry about their needs being met in the future or if they are loveable enough to have these needs met.

The term “narcissist” is thrown around often, especially for people who have high self-esteem, love to talk about themselves, and are proud of who they are. However, people with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are often those who have low self-esteem and need to be admired and complimented consistently, don’t have empathy for others, and have a hard time accepting criticism.

In the modern dating world, the term breadcrumbed means to be given just enough attention to keep you interested but never being fully invested. Typically, you go on a couple dates with a person and then they seem to be busy or cancel dates at the last minute. You question if they are interested and feel confused because on the dates they seem “so into you,” but once they are no longer around you, they are distant and difficult to get in contact with. Usually, right when you are about to write them off, they will text you something like “Hey! It’s been a while, lets meet up soon!” At this point you start to question yourself, “was I expecting too much,” “did I overreact,” “maybe they were truly busy?” You give it another shot and after trying to figure out what they mean by “soon” you go on another date with them and have a blast. The cycle then repeats.

Research studies show time and time again that healthy relationships are a key factor in overall life happiness. So, what makes for happy healthy relationships? There is a lot of bad information out there of what this type of relationship looks like. Social media and romcoms would have us believe that strong chemistry and a great couple selfie in Greece is the recipe for a lifetime of happiness. While these may be #coupelgoals they are not the most important aspects of a relationship.

Premarital or pre-commitment counseling is an essential part of a happy healthy long-term relationship. It has been shown to lessen rates of divorce by 30%! If you think premarital counseling may be a good fit for you and your partner, the next question you may ask yourself is when should we start? Let’s dive into the benefits of starting at different points in your relationship!

The past few years may have felt like a marathon of relationship challenges! The thought of divorce or taking a break has commonly been discussed. This may bring on feelings of crippling grief and like your world is ending. You are not alone in feeling this and there are several reasons why this is so devastating.

Many of us are ready for the world to open back up, because we’re on the hunt for the golden egg - love. During the pandemic, we’ve done a lot of Netflix watching, snacking and board games, but we’ve also done some self-reflection, improvement and care. It’s important that, as we start to look seriously again for relationships, we recognize how the roles we’ve played in our pasts can show up in our romantic relationships.

For those of us already in committed relationships, these archetypes can also help provide insight to persistent conflicts that arise for you and your partner.

Unfortunately, dating can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and hopeless at times. People can be misleading in their dating profiles. Ghosting is rampant. And flakiness is so bad that often people are unsure if a date will follow through and happen until they’re sitting at the restaurant in front of their date. What keeps us trudging through this difficult activity? The possibility and promise of finding love.

If you ask any couples therapist, we’ll tell you to get yourselves to couples therapy when things are going well, rather than when they’re at their breaking point. Any time is a good time for therapy! But you and I both know that hindsight is always 20/20 and it’s hard to find ways to build the relationship when things seem perfect. If you’re reading this post, chances are you’re considering couples counseling for you and your partner, and to that I say, great job! Exploring your options is an awesome first step. But if you need a little extra push, here are 5 signs it’s definitely time to see a therapist.

Depending on your relationship status, Valentine’s Day can be exciting, stressful, lonely, or a last ditch effort to re-energize your relationship. Valentine’s Day can be a great way for couples to be intentional about their relationship and deepening their connection, but it’s no secret that many of us have frequently struggled with how commercialized the holiday has become and the unrealistic expectations that movies and the media have given us. Furthermore, why should we celebrate our love just one day a year?

So, you’ve done that hard part. You found an appropriate time, you spoke in “I statements,” you talked about your emotional experience, you didn’t use shaming or blaming statements, and were vulnerable and asked your romantic partner for your needs to be met. Now what?

If you ask any couple’s therapist what the biggest factor is predicting success in couple’s therapy, they would tell you that attending couple’s therapy when problems first arise and not years later will lead to success. Couples often attend therapy as a last-ditch effort to address difficulties that started to arise in their relationship years prior. Once these difficulties have taken root, they can spread to every aspect of the relationship and lead to a decrease in intimacy and an increase negative feelings and resentment. Once a relationship has more negatives than positives it is a long uphill road to a healthy relationship. However, if partners still have deep love and care for one another and enter couple’s therapy with an open mind and curiosity, progress will quickly be made!