Recovering from Religious Trauma: Setting Boundaries and Reclaiming Your Identity
Religious trauma is something that many people don’t often talk about, but it’s more common than you might think. Whether you grew up in a strict religious environment or experienced a traumatic event within a faith community, the emotional and psychological scars can run deep. To add insult to injury, healing from religious trauma can be a long and complex journey.
The first step in healing from religious trauma is simply acknowledging that it’s real. Whether your trauma stems from manipulation, shame, guilt, or emotional abuse, it’s okay to admit that what you went through has left a mark on you.
If you’ve been through religious trauma, there’s a chance you may carry a lot of guilt or shame with you. This might be because you’ve been conditioned to feel like you're “wrong” for questioning or leaving the faith, or perhaps you've internalized messages that made you feel unworthy.
The emotional aftermath of religious trauma often comes with confusion, anger, and grief. You might find yourself questioning your beliefs, or you could feel disconnected from your community or even your sense of self. That’s all normal. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to give yourself permission to feel them.
Reclaim Your Own Beliefs
One of the hardest parts of recovering from religious trauma can be figuring out what you truly believe, separate from what you were told to believe. Growing up in a strict religious environment often means that you were given a set of beliefs that were presented as "the only truth," and that if you stray from this “truth,” you may be eternally punished. But as you break free from that, it’s natural to question everything. You can absolutely be a godly person without subscribing to a specific god.
This process can be uncomfortable and disorienting, but it’s also an opportunity to reclaim your autonomy. You get to decide for yourself what feels true, meaningful, and aligned with your values. Whether you find a new spiritual path, adopt a more agnostic or atheistic worldview, or take a break from any belief system at all, remember that your spiritual journey is yours to navigate at your own pace.
Setting Boundaries
If you’re still in contact with people who were part of your religious community, especially those who may have contributed to your trauma, setting boundaries is key to your healing. This might mean distancing yourself from certain individuals or limiting the amount of time you spend in situations that trigger painful memories or feelings of guilt.
It’s okay to say “no” to people who make you feel bad about your choices or who try to impose their beliefs on you. Prioritizing your mental and emotional health is not selfish—it’s necessary for recovery.
Healing from religious trauma can feel incredibly isolating, but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. There are supportive communities and groups out there for people who are recovering from religious trauma, whether online or in person. Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can help you feel seen and understood.
Support groups, therapy, or even just talking with friends who are compassionate and non-judgmental can make a huge difference. Being able to share your story with others who get it can help you process what happened and realize that you're not alone in this journey.
Therapy can be incredibly helpful in navigating religious trauma. A trained therapist, especially one who has experience with spiritual or religious trauma, can help you unpack the emotions, beliefs, and pain you’re carrying. They can also provide tools for building resilience and coping with triggers.
If you’ve experienced emotional or psychological abuse within a religious context, it’s important to have professional support to work through those deep wounds. Therapy can offer a safe, neutral space for you to explore and heal at your own pace.
Religious trauma is real, and it can have lasting effects on your sense of self, your relationships, and your worldview. But it’s important to know that healing is possible. It takes time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion, but you can recover from this.
It’s okay to redefine your relationship with spirituality, to seek out the support you need, and to rebuild your sense of identity. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey—your worth is not tied to your past beliefs or experiences.
You’re allowed to create a new path forward. Take it one step at a time, and know that you are deserving of peace and healing. If you’re reading this and finding that you relate to this experience, know this: You’re not alone, and there are ways to cope, heal, and eventually find peace, with or without a formal religion.
Individual Relationship Therapy Denver, Colorado
Religious trauma is something that many people don’t often talk about, but it’s more common than you might think, our skilled therapists at Authentic Connections Therapy and Wellness can offer a safe, neutral space for you to explore and heal at your own pace. Follow the steps below to get started.
1. We encourage you to get to know a little bit about our therapists, their specializations, and their credentials. Get to know our therapists here.
2. If you think individual relationship therapy is for you, reach out to us! You can use our convenient online consultation scheduling here.
3. Begin the exciting journey of redefining your relationship with spirituality,seeking out the support you need, and rebuilding your sense of identity.
We hope to hear from you soon!
