The elusive “spark.” That moment when two people’s eyes meet across a crowded room — instant chemistry. Is it love at first sight? Or something else…?

As much as I think we would all love to believe that our soulmate is somewhere out there (we just haven’t made eye contact with them yet), the reality is a little less enticing. That sensation of instant chemistry or the “spark” can be misleading and is not the best indicator to use when deciding whether to continue seeing someone.

This idea of an instant, electrifying connection has seeped into our collective understanding of what love should feel like. But is the “spark” really the best indicator of a potential lifelong partner? Or is it just a romanticized myth that can lead us astray?

Avoidant attachment tends to have a bad reputation. If you scroll through social media, you may find posts equating avoidant attachment with coldness, selfishness, or an outright fear/disinterest in vulnerability and intimacy.

While avoidantly attached individuals do tend to struggle with intimacy, the reality is far more nuanced than many of these stereotypes suggest.

Avoidant attachment develops as an adaptive strategy—just like all forms of insecure attachment. The adaptive strategy for avoidantly attached individuals prioritizes self-sufficiency over vulnerability because, at some point, depending on or relying on others didn’t feel safe. 

This does not mean people who lean toward avoidant attachment are incapable of vulnerability, intimacy, or long-term, connected relationships. It just means they relate to closeness differently.

In this post, we’ll unpack five of the most common misconceptions about avoidant attachment and the research-backed truths behind them. Whether you’re avoidantly attached, in a relationship with someone who is, or just curious, these insights might shift the way you see avoidance—not as a personal flaw, but as a learned response that, with awareness, can evolve.

Ketamine is rapidly gaining recognition for its profound healing properties. It offers benefits for a wide range of mental health concerns including depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other hard-to-treat conditions. While it is now FDA approved as a treatment option for these conditions, it can also serve as a means of self-exploration, for those looking to break unhelpful patterns of thinking and/or behaviors. 

So… how does it actually work in the brain? 

Relationships can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of our lives, but they can also be one of the greatest sources of fear and potential for pain. 

Entering a committed relationship inherently requires taking a risk — we risk changing familiar habits and routines, we risk not knowing if the relationship will pan out, we risk the possibility of rejection or abandonment, and the ultimately the possibility of experiencing significant emotional pain if we invest in the relationship and it doesn’t work out. 

It is natural to periodically have doubts or reevaluate your relationship. Is this relationship healthy? Is this dynamic sustainable? 

For many, these types of questions can provide insight and guidance, allowing us to evaluate our relationship and take the necessary recourse to improve it, change it, or leave it.

Dating apps offer convenience and access to a broader pool of potential partners, but they also bring about frustrations and emotional challenges. When using online dating apps you may feel that the formula used on these platforms withhold certain profiles from view and prioritizes looks over compatibility, which may cause you to feel at the mercy of these mysterious algorithms. While dating app algorithms are designed to help users find matches, they are also built to keep users engaged and ultimately, to generate revenue. As a result, these algorithms may encourage behaviors that align with the app’s business model, such as spending money on premium features or staying on the app longer. By understanding how these algorithms work, you can adjust your approach and potentially get better (and possibly more compatible) matches. Here’s how you can use an understanding of dating app algorithms to get different results.